ATTENTION CITIZENS: We are starting to drive the Martians back! Commander Johnson says that the front line is in need of people who “don’t take c**p from nobody.” We need people who posess confidence, self-righteousness, and an amazing amount of ego. If this description fits you and you know that you “could kill those d*mn Martians,” please go to your local NASA headquarters now. Thank you!
…
…
…
I really get annoyed by people who walk around saying that they don’t take c**p from nobody. Okay, okay, I understand…stop sayin it. On to this week’s personality profile: People who speed through work zones.
So, you’re in a rush. And that 45mph work zone is really going to delay you like…30 seconds. And clearly you’re more important that everyone else on the road, including the workers who the speed zone is supposed to protect. But do you really need to go 20, 30 miles over the speed limit? Actually, you don’t need to speed at all.
Speaking of work zones, if the sign says to merge left or right, DO IT! Don’t try to wait until the last second to get in. I mean, come on, we’re all upset that we have to go through a work zone!
Clearly, if you think you’re that much more important, then by all means go to Mars and do something worthy of your self-importance. I hope the Martians feel the same way about themselves, capture you, and force you to do road work while they speed by you at 600mph.
September 17th, 2007 at 12:35 am
[…] I don’t even really need to send mimickers to mars. They’ll probably just follow some work zone speeder or smoker onto the […]